LOVE that hurts.

Love that hurts. 

I seriously look at this kid we've created, and my heart literally hurts and is bursting with love. It's so darn corny, but it's a love I've never quite experienced before. It's a feeling of responsibility, wrapped up with pure joy.  It hurts, because you know that someday this pure innocent little man is going to face life's real problems, and it hurts because you know that someday you will have to let go and trust him to make the right decisions, it hurts because this world has so many messed up crazy things going on that you can not control. But the joy... that genuine joy, is what makes that hurt, feel so good. The joy you feel when you look into those big innocent eyes, the joy you feel when your baby learns how to put that puzzle piece in for the first time, or the joy you feel when you watch your toddler build a personality, do things to make someone ELSE laugh, and learn to communicate with you. I can't tell you how proud I was the first time Caleb signed "i love you" and was able to communicate what that little heart of his was feeling. It was the corny... bursting love kind of feeling, that feeling of love that literally hurts. 

Caleb is growing up, and more and more I am left having to make decisions that impact his life in a huge way. Let that sink in, the decisions we make impact our children greatly. If I wake up crabby, yell or treat others poorly, guess what... those baby eyes are watching me, and soon he will copy those behaviors. For instance, our sweet dog Milly... well she's kind of a spaz. We often yell at her to stop barking, use a harsh voice to tell her to shut the heck up when she is barking at the car that's driving by. Well now our little toddler, although its pretty darn cute, walks around, waving his hand, furrowed brows yelling "sta! sta!" telling her to stop barking. We think its cute now, but in a way it does make me think... I am yelling at her, I am teaching him that I don't like her barking so I'm going to handle it by yelling... rather than walking up to her, and helping her calm down and showing caleb the correct way to handle this situation. So instead of waking up crabby on rainy days, or nights you don't get a full night sleep... my sweet husband once told me...make that conscious decision that today you will wake up happy, because you have a life full of blessings and people to love. As women, our moods are often based on our emotions... so if I wake up tired and crabby, that is how my morning will be. But what Adam said made sense, make the conscious decision when you wake up, to make your day great. You control your emotions, which effect those around you, especially our kids.

Now is a time to TEACH. Children are watching. So, NOW is the time to live like Jesus did. Love others, and really put others before yourself. Get down to your baby's level and communicate, interact, and play. And when you are interacting with others, your spouse perhaps... interact with encouragement, love and respect. Because that is where your child will primarily learn how to treat others. If you want your little boy to grow up to be a gentleman, someone who respects and treat others with dignity and grace... then be that person yourself, each and everyday. It's hard, and sure easy to just say... but if you are reading this, then take time today to start. Encourage someone around you. Take time to hug your spouse when you get home and ask how his/her day was. Compliment the cashier at Target or hold the door open for the family walking in the grocery store. It doesn't take much to put a smile on someones face. And because we have a generation to impact... let's impact it for the greater. Let's love so much that it hurts. :)